Days 196 and 197: SATC May 31, 2008

#196

For some unknown reason on Thursday night I couldn’t log on to the world of wordpress…slightly worried about the panic it caused. And now can’t quite remember what my moment was going to be…so lets say it was for another day of beautiful sunshine and a meeting that went better than hoped.

#197

SATC the movie was all that I wanted it to be; my arriving by bus (long hormonally charged/Dramaqueen story that doesn’t deserve the telling or the cyber space) wasn’t quite the red carpet arrival a Carrie would hope for; but the movie itself was all I needed it to be. That Big Sis arranged for a viewing in the VIP cinema and that I got her ‘the girls from work’ was lovely. I needed the night off from marking and getting a lift ‘home’ to Mum’s house was an unexpected pleasure: not only in saving the extortionate ‘get to the sticks’ taxi money but also the security of going to bed and sleeping in ‘my’ room and a long ‘catch-up’ conversation with Mum this morning. I’m beginning to think I should charter a monthly ’sleep over’ in Ards.

Day 195 May 28, 2008

A meeting where enough “got done” to make Joseph and all things musical related seem more of a possibility than a pipe dream.

I’m grateful for the people I work with/for: those that are helping out with the musical(and therefore are willing to suffer pre-longed exposure to my inner DramaQueen), those that seem to be re-arranging their lives to make my birthday dinner and by no means least: those who come to the exam hall and offer the  welcome respite of a cup of coffee.

 

Day 194 May 27, 2008

Finding the credit card I thought I’d lost (a frantic, apartment wrecking half an hour: I really should make that ’storage solutions’ trip to IKEA). Another reminder, as if one was needed that my finances remain in complete disarray.

A phonecall from my cousin, she too is a teacher: entirely inspirational: she phoned to tell me about a job I could never get, could never do, would never want: but I was touched by her faith in me; and touched further when she said it was: ‘Merely excuse to give you a call, long awaited’. Families are complex and complicated but I love mine. I hardly ever see this busy mother of two; but she is a guiding light for me; always been a woman I apsire to be: she is grace personified and it was actually uplifting to have a conversation with her. Another person to add to my ‘Must see this summer holidays list…’

The frantic searching and the phonecall means I’m sitting without tonight’s marking quota complete but C’est la vie: that’s what tomorrow is for.

 

Day 193 May 26, 2008

A day off from school (God bless the creator of Bank Holidays) but one spent marking: the cost of ‘living it large’ (I can’t quite carry that off can I? Can’t do,’You tell them Girlfriend!’ either) was playing catch up today.

But it was a day peppered with text responses to my hastily arranged/ unarranged/ re-arranged birthday dinner…its a blessing to have so many people in my life who accept my inner dramaqueen for the ditzy broad she is!

A final tutoring session before the summer holidays: I’ll  certainly miss the pocket money but will miss the tutee more. Came home with a lovely hanging basket (which I will kill in alarmingly short time: despite my strong agricultural genes): it is touching to be appreciated!

And I have succumbed once more to the world of The West Wing, I’d purposefully avoided my WW boxsets fearing that I was becoming obsessive…but in a work turbulent life, a little political intelligence and intrigue, characters I know and respect and simply not enough Sam Seaborn (Rob Lowe) to go around: can be the rock I cling obsessively to. I can love it all over again…

Day 192 May 25, 2008

Still mopping up the tears of frustration: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

Belfast’s Rachel Tucker is no longer part of I’d Do Anything despite her performance of Cabaret last night being the best performance of the series. To my (highly critical: if in a somewhat unsubstantiated) eye she was the only actress left upon the Nancy stage… but they breed them tough in Belfast…I hope for great things in her highly theatrical future…

..and once more I lament the cruel, cruel world of public performance…

Today’s highlight: a reminder that my single girl status ain’t all bad: a friend of mine is pregnant, with a sick toddler and in the midst of her Drama marking: and yet she still found the time today to give me a call to see how I my marking was going! Humbling indeed.

Rachel Tucker I stand and applaud you (and working Mummies everywhere!).

Day 190 and 191 May 25, 2008

A weekend so full of 365 moments its almost hard to know quite where to begin…

#90

A trip to see George and Mel is always a highlight (and one already the source of many 365 moments): it was so exciting to see Mel’s  rapidly growing baby bump. They took me to Molly’s in Ballymoney for an early birthday dinner: I drank too much Stella Artois and then had as much fun as I’d ever had in TESCO!

Mel and I did lots of ruthless criticising of the Nancy performances (oh the wonders of Sky+)while dancing in her living room. This was coupled with watching ‘old’ footage of Lee Meade and then singing along (rather untunefully on my part) with Mel’s Phantom of the Opera DVD. All fabulously fun and so good for the soul.

#191

George’s school enters the annual Raft Race in Portrush: this year the sun was fuelling the holiday spirit. Mel and I had time for a browse in the White House (the shop in Portrush not the Presidential one in DC)and managed to squeeze in a Ramore Wine Bar lunch: glory itself! The race is held in style: a skydive to announce the beginning, a starter’s pistol and a mad dash across the sand. The boys from Dunluce did wonderfully well. My plans to drive home after the race were abandoned by my ‘having’ to have wine with lunch and beer with the  exhausted raft boys in the Harbour bar. 

Mel and I went home to begin the critique of last night’s ‘I’d do Anything’ performances: Rachel Tucker was truly theatrical; if she doesn’t become Nancy there is truly something wrong with the ‘Great British public’ we even managed to avoid all things Eurovision- a blessing in itself.

This doesn’t begin to do my weekend justice; but as G pointed out; ‘Look at the craic we had and the summer hasn’t even started.’

It is a blessing to have friends who are such easy  and wonderful company: who open up their lives, their home and their hearts with infinite generosity.

Day 189 May 22, 2008

Discussions began today on the dreaded timetable allocation; typically cue yet another DramaQueen Carriesque moment. I’d promised myself that this year would be different, I’d state my case with clarity, intelligence: there would be know exclamatory declarations of resignation; no high pitched squealing. And indeed, it was straightforward, a compromise as always but one I can live with (of course its yet to be agreed by the powers on high: so the time to squeal may still present itself…)

A good tutoring session today: the highlight of which being that Katie told me our next project was to be To Kill a Mockingbird : she said ‘Somehow I knew you’d be excited!’: this is right up there; one of my all time favourite novels; one of the reasons I teach English: it is good to be excited about work even outside of the workplace.

Another good moment today: JG convinced me that ‘too much marking’ and ‘I’m ignoring it this year’: were simply unacceptable reasons for denying others an excuse to drink too much and have a boogie: so I’ve decided to embrace 29 and have a get together; all very low-key, very Belfast but a little exciting to have it on the horizon.

The weekend awaits…

Day 188 May 21, 2008

Was great today to remember what made ‘The English Department’ the group of women I first loved working with. Mrs W hosted a fabulous lunch as a thank you for the craziness that was the move. K returned with her new little bundle: the ulitmate star of our show. The lunch was lovely: it has been too long since we’ve enjoyed each other “outside” of the work thing. And ‘real’ coffee, profiteroles and summer berries in the middle of a school day: a delight in itself.

Another highlight (I’ve been spoilt today) smoothstones came to school to make a tour of the building: it was wonderful to finally meet the Minidude; and to see that even in our new location our in-house politics remain unchanged:but her visit made me realise that sometimes I truly can’t see the woods from the trees; or the ”awe-inspiring”  building for the small flaws; I had soaring pride today as I stood on the marvellous stage in the assembly hall and took a moment to appreciate it all. Perhaps we only truly see something when we look through someone else’s eyes. The only thing missing…Lily Todd.

Days 186 and 187 May 20, 2008

Finally, finally I made time in my week (Mum said its a month: I refused to believe her: but know she is ALWAYS right) to go homesweethome. As is often now the case, it was just the two of us; we had dinner, and tried to plan our Hallowe’en getaway on Mum’s airmiles…no decision made. We’re both genetically indecisive: was fun anyway…I think that sometimes I loose myself inside my own head, Mum helps me find me again.

#187

We’re in the process of ‘picking’ our new texts for the new A-level specification: having fallen into my responsibility for Drama (school politics and luck made for a financially winning but crazy- making situation): I cling to what’s left on my English career with fervour. We were asked by Mrs W to choose texts we would like to teach; those we would be prepared to teach and those we would prefer not to ever encounter again. I made my choices quite easily: and spent some time today discussing the merits of texts with another English teacher who I’ve a lot of respect for; but am never quite sure she returns that compliment; she is someone who manages the working mother thing (and a ridiculous commute) with seeming ease, I’m someone who can’t always organise herself. Literary debate has been absent from my life of late; beyond pummelling exam technique into panicked pupils. Today’s conversations reminded me again that I’d love to go back to studying, or even be part of a book club; and that despite the pleasures of Drama: literature remains my first love.

Day 185 May 18, 2008

As I admitted to S when he text to cancel: that my plans for today didn’t come to fruition was a blessing in disguise: this was yet another day to be spent finally finishing the marking: but an afternoon of silliness and a Pier 36 dinner may have rescued my weekend from the totally nerdy(there’s still about two hours to go: I’m loosing the will….)

I lay awake till 5 this morning; an active mind keeping sleep at bay; this coupled with Mum’s date at the Odyssey with Donny Osmond led me to decide on a random church trip tonight. My inner jury is still out on Bangor Elim: I enjoy their lack of formality and their embracing the praise side of worship (I enjoy the music: this is a blog topic in itself) but don’t know if I can fully embrace in return.

I was seeking solace tonight: a chance to be with people without much need for conversation, a few moments of possible spiritual connection (it was a tough week): but this was not to be; a girl from work, who I don’t know at all well was having her daughter dedicated. Therefore the first people I saw having come in the door was a group of women from work: all looking slightly perturbed by my arrival. I said hello and went to find a non-conspicuous seat: not to be either: one of them finding me and ’suggesting’ that I join them ‘rather than sit there all by myself’.  I couldn’t find a gracious way of saying that the ’sitting by myself’ had been the point (she was being friendly: and even my basic theology understands that at the heart of church is fellowship); sitting making awkward small talk and giving an account of why I was there had not been my plan.

The dedication was lovely: simple, informal, clearly heartfelt. The sermon was on the constancy of God in an ever changing world: I followed right up to the point that the pastor condemned the state of California for legalising ‘gay marriage’; a social change he didn’t encourage or support.

I went seeking solace but found some of the things that remain my self-constructed stumbling blocks to faith: I can’t decide if that means I should do more searching or accept my atheism and embrace a carpe diem approach to life…if God (or whoever) was calling me to church tonight then I simply didn’t understand what he was saying when I got there.

The  drive there and back was my 365 moment: seaside towns are their picture postcard best on sunshine filled Sunday evenings…

But to my marking I must go…