345-352: Half-term and a North Down girl does Paris November 3, 2008

Clearly my 365 exists only as a means of procrastination; my week off school and my blog ‘lay’ neglected but now the marking mountain presents its Himalayan peak… I return to the laptop…

345: Monday:Grateful for the freedom that school holidays bring; that I yet again fell asleep on the sofa is worrying: that RPJ made his explosive exit from Spooks made for a tearful bedtime!

346:Tuesday: A brunch with a friend that allowed us to indulge in a little ‘this is what we were doing last year in NYC’ chat. An unusual theatre trip (no rest for the wicked, Drama teachers included) to a circus style performance of A Midsummer Night’s Dream: was entertaining if at times incomprehensible; and faced with a pupil’s very raw ‘He dumped me!’ heartbreak I was, for once, grateful to be 29 and single!

347: Wednesday: I’m firmly in the school of belief that enjoyment is 50% anticipation: spent the day packing and planning for Paris and the afternoon with take-out cappucinoand another Spooks episode: glory be for BBC Iplayer.

(This trip like New York before it, may possibly get a too long, blog all of its own, but until then…)

348: Thursday: Paris was as beautiful as my distant school trip nostalgia had remembered it. The cold wind and rain meant that our bus trip was not on the open, upper deck; but dinner and desert was a thing of splendour: beautiful beaujolais and a chocolate mousse large enough to feed a small village was all the more enchanting because it was served by a French waiter of Greek god good looks.

349: Friday: Paris is study in juxtaposed contrasts; had been disappointed that Mum and I hadn’t made it to Montematre the night before; but had forgotten just how blue Paris’ red light district was. The chance to rediscover (and light a candle) in the ethereal Sacre Coeur was spiritually uplifting and humbling all at the same time…an unusual sensation for an agnostic should be Presbyterian.

The Louvre is as the guide  book described ‘exhausting and overwhelming’: I was much more impressed by the Venus de Milo than the Mona Lisa- what is that girl smiling about?

Finding our gourmet river cruise was a challenge: yet the five ‘taster starters’, the cooked to perfection main course and three petit but perfect deserts (and yet again the wine) made for a gastronomic delight; and further proof that all French waiters have graduated from charm school and only wait tables in the time they have between modelling jobs.

A scary walk home through the almost deserted streets near the Gare du Nord reminded me that even in a city as beautiful as this one made me extremely grateful to reach our cheap but cheerful hotel; but acted as a reminder that  ‘Carrie Travels the World (alone)’ is not a witty travelogue, I’ll ever write.

350: Saturday: Another day, another art museum: the D’Orsay was much more my style and the Monet, Picasso and Van Gogh as enchanting as ever: I spend my time in art galleries wishing Tony or Liza were there too: as my friendly guide to the art that engages me but I feel I fail to truly understand.

Saturday night was our planned brush with culture; we had tickets to see the ballet at Palais Garnier. In a beautiful city; this was the most beautiful building I’ve ever been in; this is  a theatre for the Gods as they existed in the beginnings of Greek civilisation (the luxury was opulent, overwhelming and while it required a turning off of the social conscience: I enjoyed my champagne and a glance at how the other half lives). However I’d been fighting a cold all week, making me less than wonderful travelling company for my ever understanding Mother. I confess I was the girl in the cheap, cramped, horrifyingly hot seats at ‘Les Enfants du Paradis’ who coughed through the entirety of the first act. We left at the interval: my claustrophobia as overwhelming as my fellow patrons desire to choke the last breath from my wheezing chest.

351: Sunday: all good things must come to an end: home and reality beckoned. I’m grateful for a hassle free journey; for Mum’s quiet but comfortingly constant company and for all the delights the City of Light had to offer. But I came home to an email I wasn’t expecting…it helped chase the blues away.

352: Monday: a stressful school day that made me question if the week away had happened at all…reality bites with sharp and blood thirsty teeth. But the frantic morning of rehearsal scheduling will hopefully mean; the cogs will turn and this week will be as productive as it truly needs to be.

343 and 344 October 27, 2008

343: West Wing Night: The much anticipated West Wing night was a lot of fun; still enchanting and I’ll admit slightly disarming to meet the good and the great of blogland (and of course fellow West Wing fans); meeting those of such inspiration when Carrie’s words have been those of stress and moaning misery, in the lovely surroundings of Casa smoothstones/ elephant is humbling to say the least…

But this was a night of easy friendship, gorgeous food and of course great TV… (Thanks to our gracious hosts and all at the West Wing)

344: Lily Todd and I had used West Wing night as a means of escaping reality for a night: we stayed at a hotel and stayed up much too late; but the catching up was cathartic, therapeautic and quite simply fun.

A glance at the glorious North coast while we ate lunch and people watched in The Nook; was only surpassed by a very lazy (for me, if not Lily) afternoon where we ‘customers’ at the Angels shoe shop, and an audience at their ‘Fashion show’.  The embraced chance of catching up with Strictly Come Dancing and the X Factor; a chinese take away and a ginger beer and it was time for home.

340, 341 and 342 October 25, 2008

340: Today I had a long anticipated absolute hissy fit: a Dramaqueen reaching into the higher echelons of humiliation : the pupils who bore witness to my moment of madness looked at me with a shock and concern difficult to put into words; but opening this valve on the ‘musical’ pressure cooker was long overdue and somehow massively cleansing.

341: Even though I would have a ‘teach the teacher’s day’ on Friday; this afternoon it felt like the end of half term: I embraced that feeling of freedom; had a take out dinner and a night on the settee purusing my Lonely Planet for Paris…

342: An inspirational trip to the theatre that allowed me to yet again fall a little in love with Belfast; remember the true privileges of my job and realise that in the world of all things Drama I still got a lot to learn…

334, 335 and 336 October 17, 2008

334: Queen of Disorganisation strikes back: returned from a rather woeful theatre trip (although it is always good to be out of the classroom with pupils) to find my car in a locked car park: our leading man was collecting his current leading lady and insisted on giving me a lift home. If this wasn’t humiliating enough: I then couldn’t find my door keys; had emptied my handbag: made an ill-timed, poorly executed quip about him discovering something of mine on the backseat and then found the keys in my pocket. Dignity and professionalism are things of the past.

335: An at school meeting where I was smothered in egos and testosterone was only balanced by a night of finding domestic harmony while perusing my Ipod and comfort eating Percy Pigs and M&S cheese.

336: Being quite fabulously reduced to tears by a Yr 12 Drama performance; and a ‘Let’s go for coffee1′ that turned into ‘Do you want to have a glass of wine?’ and finished with a cheese on toast, a little Josh Groban and plans for a weekend away: nothing beats a feelgood Friday.

328, 329, 330 and 331 October 12, 2008

328: Dinner at home was a ‘mid’ week treat I allow traffic and school work to deny me. I got to let myself in; have coffee and do an hour’s marking before Mum came home to make a dinner so fabulous she sent me home with another portion and a recipe. I’d forgotten how calming home cooking and conversation can be.

329: A dinner with an ex-pupil. K was my first Drama star; a girl who taught me more than I taught her: a key member of my first and by far the craziest A-level class I’ve ever taught. She is taking off to Oz for a year and this was goodbye: dinner turned into too much wine (I’m scared to check how many times that phrase has appeared in the last 300 and so days) and an until dawn conversation. I was overwhelmed to see her; and love that she still makes the effort to allow me to be part of her life.

330: My hangovers get worse. I had a much- anticipated, although given that my hearing-aid wasn’t working and that time confusion meant I missed my hair appointment (my vanity is increasing with age)was less eager than I should have been; wedding /30th birthday party. I spent the day somewhere between sleep and wakefulness; and somewhere between my bathroom and the sofa. Managed the shower, but not the dressing and the make-up. I am a crappy friend who cancels way too many things because I’ve no sense of moderation: I didn’t deserve Dermot O’Leary for company last night but was grateful for his sunny, charming presence in my living room.

331: Did a little of the domesticity typically earmarked for Saturday; headed home for more home cooking but am feeling restless…an over hang of my hangover and the sense of a wasted weekend gnawing away at my sense of self. How can it be Sunday night? Can’t decide if I should watch an episode of Spooks on one of the endless repeat type channels or treat myself to the unearned and as yet unwatched pleasure of a second helping of Sex and the City: the movie.

326 and 327: a shorter list than usual October 8, 2008

326: A giggle filled moment in a busy school day: watching a true Mentor teach a class and telling a joke I always find delightfully funny( about speeches and mini-skirts: I’m a simple girl)… and was once again shocked as to how a ‘bad’ rehearsal can shake the very core of the collective confidence in the show.

327: Ten minutes of coffee, a mint kit-kat and conversation was true manna today

Feeling incredibly ridiculous that I could not in any circumstances find my focus to stand in for Jacob and rehearse with ‘Joseph’: this incredibly talented, incredibly tall and terrifically intense guy was staring down at me and I went to giggling pieces: but the laughter helped to calm yesterday’s fears.

Days 320, 321, 322, 323, 324 and 325 October 6, 2008

Why is this getting harder?

Wed/ 320: Can’t remember a thing…but I won’t complain about work and for anyone reading this, that’s a blessing in itself.

Thurs/ 321: Weather and a day from hell. I ‘performed’ at an ill-attended Parents’ Information Evening: doing all the things I tell my pupils not to do; my lines were on a magazine on stage: the mad dash from school to rehearsal to tutoring to KFC to school again wasn’t worth the stress I felt.

But two of the wonderful women I work with reminded me why they are indeed wonderful: each generation of women stands on the shoulders of those who have gone before…and tonight I found strength and love in those foundations.

And another baby girl joins the world of Yummy Mummies, Doting Daddies and that of proud ‘Auntie’ Carrie: my minutiae diminishes by the second…

322/Fri: A trip to the dentist that wasn’t nearly as bad as feared and dinner with friends of my sister: great food, beautiful wine and entertaining company(and that wonderful thing of meeting someone who lives up to his glowing reputation): a fabulous end to another crazy making work week.

323/Sat: A lunch with girls I’ve been friends with forever: surrounded by babies and home cooking: the assembled masses wanted to make this a monthly event (as a group hanger-on I worry that I got the ‘polite’ invitation) so let’s hope that many more days like this one awaits.

I also got to do what I’d been dying to do all week: a night of absolutely nothing but TV and sofa me time: bliss!

324/ Sun: An evening spent booking various things for Paris with Mum: this is a ray of holiday hope on a crowded horizon; excited already; and looking forward to time with Mum that isn’t dogged with clock watching and the ebbing guilt of neglected marking looming on my table at ‘home’.

325/ Mon:  A night of marking interspersed with texts to plan various get-togethers and social events: it is much easier to behave on a school night when the weekend(s)  promise such an array of fun!!

Days 314, 315, 316, 317, 318 and 319 September 30, 2008

I am tempted to make an undignified exit; leave Carrie’s 365 an unfinished project: a cliffhanger in the mundane life of my twenty something self. I hate that Carrie’s real blog is now entirely neglected; I hate that this has become increasingly longer catch up lists of my relentless moaning and negativity. The quitters thing to do was to call a defeat and walk away, the stronger, wiser woman inside of Carrie O decided against it.

So you’re stuck with me…(for 40+ more days at least…)

These will be snapshots rather than word-filled ‘video’ footage (be grateful all you’re missing is my work frustration mounting to fever pitch)

314: A tutoring session that allowed me to rediscover the wisdom of Atticus Finch….

315: A bad night out: realising I’m too old to get ‘Groovy’ at the ‘Train’ and too clumsy too drink vodka and cranberry juice (a friend’s dress and another’s satin shoes will bear stained witness). A conversational highlight will a girl from work I never get to talk to…she is an inspiration.

316: Meeting Georgia and spending time with the exhausted and incredibly happy brand new parents. As twee and cheesy as it sounds: this new little life let me recognise things I seemingly ignored of late: that it is already autumn, that I love to sing in my car when no-one is listening, that Donaghadee harbour is beautiful at night and that I’m blessed by the friends my life has given me.

317: JG and I went to a literary discussion at the Aspects festival: neither of us had read the book but had been interested in the subject (soldiers executed, and recently pardoned during the First World War): it was an informative, thought provoking and strange occasion. I spent the time hoping I didn’t share too much in common with the rest of the overly dignified, incredibly middle class; rather verbose audience ( somewhere inside me is teenage/ high school rebel not yet fully exorcised): I’m an inverted snob: but this is not a new realisation. 

But we skipped the wine and cheese to go for conversation; shared red wine and steak at Grace Neils: the perfect end to a social weekend.

318: More school madness: I can’t begin to verbalise my growing fury and frustration. But I’m grateful for remembering Lipstick Jungle (my latest TV fad) and a for that rare thing of sleeping almost as soon as my head hit the pillow and for that lasting until the alarm.

319: Today: the sets for the musical were knocked over and broken; one of my actors for a performance we’ve to do on Thursday has lost her voice; a difficult member of staff became entirely impossible, and today’s rehearsal was far from what it needs to or should be.

My work ‘To Do’ list is out of control: some things are already past being late; and are heading past ‘overdue’ into ‘Will you do the job you are being paid to do!’ terrritory.

One of my best friends, who is having an exploratory medical procedure tomorrow, rang me and I yelled at him about my day (He graciously accepted my apology).

But during the madness of rehearsal I again got reminded that small gestures can make a difference; that giving can be so much better than receiving; and had a great ‘teacher’ moment: the pupil (new to school) who is playing the role of the Butler came to rehearsal today to ‘read in’ for Joseph: he offered his services for any rehearsal, stating: ‘It’s just such a privilege to be involved; let me help Miss. Let me do what I can. I’m loving every second of this.’

… I needed the reminder that beyond the staff egos (myself the biggest Diva of the pack) and lack of support is this group of great kids who deserve a show; or rather a school experience to remember.